This article is a little hard for me, but here goes!
I was sifting through my closet one day and I stumbled upon a ring belonging to my Mother. As I looked at it, I began searching for other things of hers that I gained when she went to be with the Lord. It’s been a few years since she left us. I sank in the middle of my closet floor and started reflecting on her life as I knew it.
See there are days when you manage not to go there in the memory jewelry box of your mind. But then there are days when you can’t stop it from happening! We need to go there! There are trinkets and things of value that we gather over the years that matters so much to us, but why? Why should rings, necklaces or articles of clothing that we hold on to of our loved ones matter to us? As I sat there looking at the things of hers that I have, I realized that I could not love these things like I loved my Mother. I realized that my closet full of her trinkets could not give me a hug, a word of encouragement when I’m feeling low or a smile that lights up a room. And I realized that the watch of hers I wear could only give time but not time back with her!
I have no diamonds or rubies of my Mothers. Those are 2 precious gems she never got to obtain. But even though I have none of those things in my closet among her items, this is what I do have. I have memories of a precious gem that no one can ever take away from me. I call her “Mama” and I brand her a virtuous woman. Proverbs 31 speaks of a virtuous woman who is far more precious than rubies. I find that to be so true of my Mother. She was a woman who worked hard and took care of her family. She was a woman of grace and elegance without the backing of riches and wealth. She was a woman who cared about the less fortunate, even though we didn’t have much. She gave love to all she knew and was never afraid to show love.
Kindness was a like a dress she wore all the days of her life that she never took off. Humility was like a worn out pair of shoes she adored and refused to throw away. Friendship was always in her pocket and she gave it freely. Love was like a handkerchief she carried with her just in case. Her smile was like an infectious disease you just could not get rid of. All of these memories are tucked away in my heart. I could never stash them away like my trinkets. I could never go to my closet, open my jewelry box and pull out any of her qualities to wear. How I wish I could, but I can’t!
I hold memories of her so tight within my heart that at times I think I’m stifling myself. And the best memory of all is that of my Mothers love for us! Of all the things of hers that I have, there is not one of these things that will ever measure up to her love. The jewelry box that sits in my closet filled with trinkets of my Mothers are tangible things that I can let go of at any time. They really do not mean that much to me at all. My Mother owned these material things, but their value was not meshed with her love. She loved her life and her children even more than that! Don’t get the wrong idea about me because of my feelings about the “things” she left behind.
I guess the best way that I can explain myself is this. I do not and cannot hold the “things” in life as commodities! I will not and shall not view those “things” as precious keepsakes. My closet filled with memories of my Mothers things are just that. I could not let myself get wrapped up in crying each time I viewed those things of hers. I had to prevent myself from going to that extreme, neurotic realm! I had to do a life reality check which was that I could lose any of these trinkets and replace them just as easily. But I cannot get back the one precious gem that I lost; my Mother! So I’ll hold on for a little while longer to these things, not memories, just things. I will not love them! I will not cherish them! I will not hold them near and dear to my heart!
I will however, always love my Mother and cherish all the memories of our time together. I will always hold her here in my heart as I remembered her. Things are not what makes our life happy and functional. A closet filled with trinkets and things of old only complicates our lives sometimes. In that, we reflect on those memories that set us back in time. It takes us to a place of haunting in our spirit. We have to continually go forward and not constantly keep looking back. They are not there any longer!
Written by, Staice J Morris
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