"M-A-K-A-Y-L-A" A JEWEL IN OUR MIDST article #7

While sitting on the floor in my closet. I came across a box filled with some old photographs of family and friends. As I was looking through them I started to reminisce on the past and also pondered the future. Some of the memories were wonderful and joyous. But some of the memories were not so good. It’s okay to reminisce on the past. I feel that mentally it’s very good for the soul. As I looked at the old photographs, I started to see where some features had changes, but some still remained the same.  It was so refreshing to my soul to look back and enjoy the pictures. I came across an old photograph of my sweet dear Mother and it took me back to the very day she passed away. How sad a day that was for me and my family. She exited our life so quickly like a beautiful rose that lost all of it’s peddles to the wind! Gone forever! But even with all the pain on that day. I found a jewel right in the midst of all the turmoil and despair. No, it was not a diamond or sapphire gem! But it was a living, breathing jewel. Yes, I miss my Mother dearly. But on that day as my Angel flew away to Heaven. God sent a beautiful jewel in return on that very same day.

I’m sure it was not to replace my Mother, as we shall never forget her. But God did a favor of sort for me and my husband that day. Here we were at a very somber time in our life and filled with so much emptiness. The lost of my Mother and no hope of having a child of our own. I was feeling so empty inside. Barren is what most would say about me, but my husband and I continually praised God even so. I knew that His plan for our lives was the best plan. So if my husband and I was ever going to have a child, we always said it would be up to God to make it happen for us. And it did! God sent us a beautiful, sweet, playful, loving and adoring jewel. We call her our jewel because of her uniqueness. When I first met her, she looked as empty inside as I was at that time. She didn’t really talk and she was sought of withdrawn. I could say that her story and mine were about the same. In that, we both had lost our Mothers. Hers in a different way then mine. I lost my Mother when she died. But her Mother gave her up!

          At the time I knew nothing about her situation or that there was a situation. But I questioned sometime later; how could a Mother give up something so beautiful? No, I am not judging her Mother at all. I’m just trying to understand. She probably did the very best that she could to keep her child. But in the end she felt that it would best serve her to have someone else take care of her. I did found out later that her Mother was ill. So maybe she felt by giving her child to someone else, that it would save her from a life of uncertainty. You also have to understand that Makayla wanted so very much to be with her Mother. Can you blame her? I wanted my Mother back with me so that I could take care of her. But I could not save my Mother and I know that I could not bring her back. So,Makayla and I had to lean on God to help us endure what we were going through. And for a child that is very hard to do. But that is why I believe God sent her into our lives to help her. We are truly, truly blessed. Our lives changed in an instant when we took the opportunity to become parents of sought! More like co-parents with her Guardian (her Grandmother). But it didn’t matter to Darrell and I how it came about or how we were to share in raising Makayla. Yes, the adjustment was hard but worth it. We are a family and we are very happy.

I will never forget my Mother. I have the pictures to remember. But I also have her everlasting love that she left here with us. And even though she is gone. I thank God for sending our jewel from heaven. There’s no other way we can look at this. Makayla brings us joy, love and happiness. She fills our lives with an abundance of laughter. It is good to remember. But it is better to be in the moment! I have a closet filled with pictures to remember. But we have a jewel in our midst!

Written by, Staice J M Morris

June 19, 2012

 

 

 

“A-New” Article 6

I’ve been dreaming of a closet make-over for a long time now. I’d like a bigger closet that’s very spacious, has lots of drawers to store things, a wall with built in shoe storage, a jewelry nook and a place to sit and write. I want to be able to walk into my closet and not feel “closet phobia”! You know what I mean. I don’t want to feel cramped in a space that has outgrown me. My closet is filled with my husband and my things. After so many years of living in the same house, (17) years to be exact, it starts to get a wee bit crowded. And no matter how much we get rid of things it’s still cramped. I realized that it was time for a change! Time for something “A-NEW” and exciting. It’s time to move from what that which at one time was very comfortable. That’s how life is at times when things we’re so use to can become so uncomfortable to us. That’s when you know that it’s time for “A-NEW”! I got to thinking about those things in my life, besides my closet, that’s become uncomfortable. But before I go there let me say this. Change is very good when it’s a good change. And none of us can predict either way how it’s going to turn out. But at least you tried and that’s what’s important. I have gotten uncomfortable at the Church I attend and grew up in. I feel that it is time for me to branch out. Not because I’m tired of Church, but I have outgrown my Church. Oprah Winfrey said that we all need to grow to greatness wherever we’re at. I feel that I have stopped growing at my home Church and I don’t like those odds at all.

I do believe that we should never keep things the same. Whether it’s changing something about our appearance, our career, our attitude or whatever. I’m sure you get the point! The bible says that we are to be transformed by renewing our mind. That’s really where all of our change should begin. I know that change can be scary, even exhausting. But I also know that it can be exciting and wonderful. I love change and the new things change could bring our way. If I had to give an example of how change could be good, let’s look at it from a biblical aspect. In the book of Job we learn how he had everything in life he could possibly need. A good home, a lovely wife, a few kids, some cattles and livestocks and more. But, all of that changes when the devil took all of what he had from him even his good health. That was a huge change for Job at that time. Some would say it was a bad change for Job because of all that he had to endure. But I say that because the devil meant all of it for bad, it actually turned out to be a good change for Job. In the sense that he got back more than what he had. So yes, even though all change is not good. Change is necessary at times. Job was reborn and his life became “A-New”!

We shouldn’t stay where we’re at if it’s making our life uncomfortable. We do have a God given will to make things happen in our life. Things that can change or alter our situation in a good way. No, we don’t have the power to change everything in our life. Such as the smell of a fresh new summer breeze or the sweet new song that the robin sings or a new sunrise each morning. These are things that I have no control over and wouldn’t change if I could. I’ll stick to working on my own transformation to a life “A-New”. I have learned that each day brings about the opportunity for new birth which is life “A-New”. Think about your life. What is the one thing you would change that would be a worthy change for your life.? And it doesn’t have to be drastic. Just different. The way you never looked at a sunset or smell a rose or listened for that still small voice. I know that there are barriers such as fear and other things that get in the way. But don’t allow anything or anyone stop you from starting your life “A-New”! And it is my belief that our lives can only become “A-New” when we say “Yes”! And that, as Oprah says, is your A-Ha moment.

Written by: Ms. Staice M J Morris

So...What’s Your Story Life? Article 5

There was a time that I would go into my closet to pray. You know the saying “Go into your secret closet” to pray to God. I actually thought that it meant to physically go into a closet. Now I understand it better that we can pray to God anywhere. But while I was in there I’d tell God all of my most  private thoughts, hopes and dreams. Although, He already knew them all. I got to thinking about how much of my private life I spoke in my closet. And I thought about all the things that were in my closet. My things are in my business! If my things could talk what would they say? That got me to thinking about people always minding other peoples business and not telling anything about their life. So the question I ask is “what’s your story life”? What is it about you that nobody knows? What are your likes and dislikes? What are your inner most fears? What secrets do you hold close to your heart that you would never want anyone else to know? What gets us going the most in life to some extent is “the truth about others”! And we become so Holier than Thou as if nothing can touch us. We become that crystal ball revealing every detail of someone else’s life as we see it more so than our own. Revealing secrets told and some not told but found out by other means like gossip, etc.

It is in us all to be better! It is in us to be wiser and not foolish! It is most certainly in us all to dream as big and as far as the eyes can see! So where do we begin? Well let’s start by finding that place, that very special place we can go to and find “it”! That it would be “Life”! A life overflowing with the most wonderful stories about us. And one that begins to take shape in a way that will inspire and overwhelm our own imagination. Whether that place is behind closed doors, outside among the trees, birds and bees or on a raft drifting down the river. We need our special place so we can dwell more into our own life. This quote of mine puts things into a little more perspective “my story life belongs to the world only when I tell it”! There is so much of my life that I want others to know about. The good, the bad, the highs and lows, the ups and downs, everything. But will they find it to be exciting or dull? Will it be boring or worthy enough to tell? I’m sure that’s how some of us look at our lives. That’s why we feel comfortable delving into someone else’s story life, as I call it. It takes the focus off of us. And some of their stories are like a tunnel where we can’t wait to get to the end. Because there’s really not much to tell at times. I love to hear my Mother-In-Law tell stories of days gone by. Some will make you cry, some will make you laugh and some will make your imagination go hay wire. She tells the most exciting stories of her life in days gone by. Those are the story life that are to be heard. Especially when the person telling it owns it! What better story to tell then the story life that belongs to you. I have so much to tell about my life and I question where to begin. We don’t have to have an order to begin our story life. Just begin! I love writing and I think that I have always known that it was my passion. It’s really something to be able to pull what’s in your heart and head onto paper. It does take a lot of imagination sometimes and a lot of soul searching for the truth. The part of my story life that I am going to share in this article is about the love of my life.

My husband “Darrell” was sent by God to me. I prayed for this man and God sent me exactly who I asked for. We have been together for 27 years and yes happily married. It has not all been a bed of roses but I never thought that it would be. I never set the bar for our marriage that high into thinking it would be perfect. And I never prayed for a perfect marriage. That I’m sure God would not have granted. But what it is for me and my husband is a love that will last forever. That I do believe with a lot of faith. My husband and I did not grow up together and we only met briefly when I moved to Columbia my 9th grade year. I was not interested so much in guys while in high school. I wasn’t so developed in certain areas as some other girls. My husband says that I was an ugly duckling that turned into a beautiful swan. I totally agree! My husband and I actually met after high school. A very long time after high school. He had finished college and I was still trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. We lived very close to each other at the time that we met. I use to see my husband jogging right pass my house some days. This one particular day I was getting ready to ride my bike and he happened to be working on his car in their driveway. He said something to me that I can’t quite remember but the rest is history. God brought us together at the right time, the right place and the right moment. I thank God each and every day for how He has orchestrated everything in our marriage. I believe that when we tell our story life in our own words nothing really gets missed. But when it’s told by others a lot can get messed up. So I don’t mind telling my story life at all. Hold on...more to come soon!

Written by, Staice M Morris

My Closet Experience #5 (copyright 2012)

A Not So Perfect Closet” Article #4

As I reached for my closet door, I noticed a piece of my garment hanging out. As I turned the handle and opened the door boxes began to fall from the top shelf. There I was picking up hats, gloves and other items that were stored in the box on the shelf. I look over and realized that my beautiful off white skirt had gotten slammed in the door. It was dirty and had to be taken to the dry cleaners. What happened to my beautiful perfectly neat closet? Then it hit me! The problem with my thinking is that I don’t have a perfect closet! With boxes falling and garments getting stuck in the door, the “perfect”  was gone! Not to say that it was all messy, as it’s not, but it was not perfect! That got me to thinking about myself and others. None of us are perfect! No matter how much we change or stay the same, we are not perfect! Like my closet, things will become undone and get messy in our lives. So what may have seemed to be a perfect life, never was!

We all have so many flaws and imperfections that we probably don’t ever give them a thought. We only see the not so good in others and hope change will come in them. Or we talk about the imperfections in others while choosing to look over our frailties. I have begun to look at myself and those things about me that are not my best qualities. I have asked God to help me change as I know that I am a work in progress. God is always doing a good work in me, I believe His word (Philippians 1:6) on that. And even though this life can become so complex at times I have to remember not to become like the world. In so much that my thoughts turn to judging others, being critical of others imperfections and even putting others down. While forgetting that God is the only one to judge.  His words says to judge not or you shall be judged.

My zodiac sign says that I have a tendency  to be a perfectionist. Yes, it is true. I like things to be in order. I like things neat. I like things to be the very best that they can be and that at times has even included myself! But thank God, I’ve learned that I have to take self out of the equation. When I decrease and allow God to increase in my life there is the  balance. That is the correct order of things. I had to stop trying to be this perfect me for myself and everybody. That was me being consumed by the very thing I should not have allowed to happen. I was living by the worlds standard. So like my closet when I transform it into a neat and orderly place by my standards. I needed to do the same for my mind and attitude by Gods standards. And that was to transform my thinking differently especially surrounding being perfect. The saying “nothing is as it seems” is just that at times. We look at things and people and we have a tendency to put them in categories. Like; the best, the worst, the good, the bad, the not so perfect and the just right! Who are we to bring these critical revelations to others attention or to mock those we deem at a lower standard then ourselves. God is not amused at the way we treat each other at times. I remember in the movie “Why Did I Get Married” when Janet Jackson said that she was always trying to be perfect Pattie but perfect Pattie messed up! We assume that this life that we live is justified by how we may be just a tad bit different then others or how our lives may mirror that so perfect lifestyle.

Where was it written that the outcome from birth to wherever we’re at today in life was always going to be a bed of roses? That would mean that no thorns had a chance to sprout up and sting us. Not true! God said “Lo, I’ll be with you always” even in the fire. We have to endure messy sometimes just like our closets. We have to endure unpleasantness at times in life. We are not perfect by no means just like our closets. I’m not saying that all of our lives is a total mess. On the contrary, I feel that if we look real deep into the core of our existence we will most likely find that our life is positively “great”! So like my closet whenever it needs to be reorganized. I too will look for ways to reshape, transform and rethink ways to make my life just a tad bit better. As close to perfect as God will allow it to be. I won’t ever reach the level of perfectness as Jesus, but I will do my best to live a life that is pleasing to God.

Memories Of A Mother's Love...Article #3

This article is a little hard for me, but here goes!

             I was sifting through my closet one day and I stumbled upon a ring belonging to my Mother. As I looked at it, I began searching for other things of hers that I gained when she went to be with the Lord. It’s been a few years since she left us. I sank in the middle of my closet floor and started reflecting on her life as I knew it.

             See there are days when you manage not to go there in the memory jewelry box of your mind. But then there are days when you can’t stop it from happening! We need to go there! There are trinkets and things of value that we gather over the years that matters so much to us, but why? Why should rings, necklaces or articles of clothing that we hold on to of our loved ones matter to us? As I sat there looking at the things of hers that I have, I realized that I could not love these things like I loved my Mother. I realized that my closet full of her trinkets could not give me a hug, a word of encouragement when I’m feeling low or a smile that lights up a room. And I realized that the watch of hers I wear could only give time but not time back with her!

I have no diamonds or rubies of my Mothers. Those are 2 precious gems she never got to obtain. But even though I have none of those things in my closet among her items, this is what I do have. I have memories of a precious gem that no one can ever take away from me. I call her “Mama” and I brand her a virtuous woman. Proverbs 31 speaks of a virtuous woman who is far more precious than rubies. I find that to be so true of my Mother. She was a woman who worked hard and took care of her family. She was a woman of grace and elegance without the backing of riches and wealth. She was a woman who cared about the less fortunate, even though we didn’t have much. She gave love to all she knew and was never afraid to show love.

Kindness was a like a dress she wore all the days of her life that she never took off. Humility was like a worn out pair of shoes she adored and refused to throw away. Friendship was always in her pocket and she gave it freely. Love was like a handkerchief she carried with her just in case. Her smile was like an infectious disease you just could not get rid of. All of these memories are tucked away in my heart. I could never stash them away like my trinkets. I could never go to my closet, open my jewelry box and pull out any of her qualities to wear. How I wish I could, but I can’t!

I hold memories of her so tight within my heart that at times I think I’m stifling myself. And the best memory of all is that of my Mothers love for us! Of all the things of hers that I have, there is not one of these things that will ever measure up to her love. The jewelry box that sits in my closet filled with trinkets of my Mothers are tangible things that I can let go of at any time. They really do not mean that much to me at all. My Mother owned these material things, but their value was not meshed with her love. She loved her life and her children even more than that! Don’t get the wrong idea about me because of my feelings about the “things” she left behind.  

I guess the best way that I can explain myself is this. I do not and cannot hold the “things” in life as commodities! I will not and shall not view those “things” as precious keepsakes. My closet filled with memories of my Mothers things are just that. I could not let myself get wrapped up in crying each time I viewed those things of hers. I had to prevent myself from going to that extreme, neurotic realm! I had to do a life reality check which was that I could lose any of these trinkets and replace them just as easily. But I cannot get back the one precious gem that I lost; my Mother! So I’ll hold on for a little while longer to these things, not memories, just things. I will not love them! I will not cherish them! I will not hold them near and dear to my heart!

I will however, always love my Mother and cherish all the memories of our time together. I will always hold her here in my heart as I remembered her. Things are not what makes our life happy and functional. A closet filled with trinkets and things of old only complicates our lives sometimes. In that, we reflect on those memories that set us back in time. It takes us to a place of haunting in our spirit. We have to continually go forward and not constantly keep looking back. They are not there any longer!

Written by, Staice J Morris

We Don't Fit In Everyone's Closet. Article #2

WOW! What a revelation. There’s a closet somewhere that I can’t fit in. Sounds kind of corny right? Unfortunately, it is a true statement. And I am only using closet as a metaphor here. I wrote an article about 2 years ago called “A Beautiful Closet”. That was to be the beginning of what I’m calling my closet experience. I shared with many in my first article how I liked my closet to look. Then I compared my closet to my life and found that; our lives at times mirror our closet. A beautiful closet equals a beautiful life. A cluttered closet equates to a cluttered life. But I want to make a different comparison in this article #2 closet experience. When I say that there’s a closet somewhere that I don’t fit into, I’m simply saying, I (we) don’t fit into everyone’s life space. Let’s face the facts! We are all not the same and our closets are not the same. And what I know for certain is that we’re all created differently and made only by God’s design.  

I’m learning that there’s something uniquely different about all of us. It could be the way we walk, the way we sing, the way we write or dance. Whatever it maybe, I’m learning to love the “me” God made; inside and out. And it would be wrong of me to want to change anything about me to fit into someone else closet (world). Everyday I see people wanting so much of what others have. Whether it’s their car, house, power, clothe, job, friends, husband, wife, money or whatever. We have got to change our thought pattern. I don’t want anyone else trying to fit their things into my closet (life). I like the way my things fit in my life and I love who God created me to be. Sure, I know that some of us can do what others do, but I also realize that we most likely do it more or less differently than the other. I do understand that some of us look alike, but I also realize that if we look close enough we’ll find something uniquely different in that look.  

Ego is a big part of the worlds fashion these days. I don’t want any of that look in my closet. Our ego can get the best of us at times and could be very harmful to our lives. We can’t really get rid of our ego, but we can make sure it does not become a part of our character. I’ve seen people who just have to be the best of the best at everything in life. Always wanting to be the “be all” for everyone and everything. Never wanting to accept the fact that they do make mistakes! They do fall short at time! And that they cannot be like everyone else nor do or have what someone else does or have. We cannot fit our lives into someone else closet at times. We need to work on the things that God created in us to do and to ask God to change those things in us that are not so great. And however different we are, we need to always remember that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God.  

Another “E” that I have no room for in my closet (world) is Envy! A-ha, you too! It was a part of my closet space. But I cleaned it out and replaced it with grateful. I am truly grateful for God helping me to see how Envy could ruin a lot of things in my life. I don’t need other people things to define who I am. I don’t have to be jealous of my family members or friends for what they have accomplished in life. I just need to be grateful each day for; what I have, who I am and where I’m at in life. So you ask; what does she have to be so grateful for? Lots! I have Gods love, a wonderful and loving husband, a loving family. I have a roof over my head! I have peace, joy, love, happiness, faith and trust in God. I have a job where so many are searching for one these days. And I have so much more that I am grateful for. And then you ask who am I? I am a child of God! That’s what I am certain of and what’s most important! And now you want to know where I am in life? I’m here…in this life! We shouldn’t envy anyone for that!

So, think about all the things that fit into your closet these days! Can something be removed that has been there for a long time? Does it need a makeover or redo? I want you to go to your closet, stand in it and take a good look around. What do you see? Do you see clutter? Do you see everything organized and in its rightful place? Do you see any similarity between your closet and your life? Does your closet mirror the way your life is today? If not, I would ask that you design your closet to mirror the way you want your life to be. Whether it’s to remove things that are not necessary (envy), replace the old with new (shed ego), reorganize some things or just to free up some space for you to sit and think in your closet. However you chose to design your closet don’t try to fit it into mine! Let your closet, your life and you be…Authentic!

Written by Staice M J Morris (SMJM)

October 12, 2011

A Beautiful Closet, Less The Clutter

Article #1 of “My Closet Experience”

Every month I clean my closet from top to bottom. Yes, you can say that I’m a neat freak and perhaps a perfectionist. Whatever the case I like my closet to be organized with my clothes hanging in a specific order, my shoes stacked out of way on the floor and my armoire filled with my jewelry and trinkets to be very organized. So, I like my closet to be cleaned with no clutter. I like a beautiful closet! But, ladies, what am I really talking about here? Beyond keeping my closet beautiful, I also like my life, my hair, my nails, my skin and my entire being (inside and out) to be as beautiful as possible. Women we are beautiful from inside and out, head to toe, over and under, without a doubt. Our inward beauty which is not seen is just as beautiful as our outward appearance. There’s a saying, beauty is only skin deep, which translates to beauty is skin deep to the outward person and you shouldn’t care about what a person looks like because it’s only the outside. There’s another saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which translates to, different people will find different things beautiful and difference of opinion doesn’t matter greatly. Ladies, we are molded by a very special pair of hands and wonderfully made. There is no one else like you or I. We are a commodity, one of a kind. 

Look at yourself, look deep into your heart and you will find a lot of beauty about you. Like a closet, you have beautiful things inside of you. It could be the gift of giving, the gift of loving people unconditionally, the gift of caring, the gift of having faith when it seems there’s no way out, and the gift of trust when others have doubts. You have so much beauty inside of you and most of you probably don’t even think about it. I understand that some one may have put you down at sometime in the past. They may have said that you’ll never be what you know that you can be. They probably have called you ugly and stupid. They probably have said that you’ll never amount to anything. Ladies, if you take nothing else away from my speech today, I ask you to remember this. My closet becomes beautiful when I clean it. Just as my temple (my body), my mind, my spirit and soul, becomes beautiful when I perfect it. I cleanse it, I rejuvenate it and I refresh it. How do I cleanse it, I purify my body by drinking water, eating fruits and vegetables. How do I rejuvenate it, by exercising, just a little walk each day is enough to keep you going. I refresh it by reading my bible, praying, and speaking scriptures over my body and my life. 

Ladies, on Tuesday Nov 4, we showed more of your beauty than ever before. We as well as America cleaned its closet from top to bottom. Look at our first lady Michelle Obama and then take a look at yourselves. We are all a representation of the beauty of America and how hard work, diligence, fortitude and honesty can win out over division and divisiveness. Ladies, America lived up to her promise on Nov 4th that anything is possible. You can have anything in life that you so desire. If we clean out the clutter in our lives that we keep stumbling over, we can see the beauty that still exist in our lives. Beauty is not rare! It resides inside and outside of us. Beauty is not something to be afraid of, it is to be loved. Beauty is not something to cage up, it needs to be released into the atmosphere. Beauty is not only skin deep, it’s all around us, over and under us. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder (you and I) and it makes no difference what we view as being beautiful. Women, you are wonderfully made and beautiful inside and out.

Your beauty of sharing and caring shines through like a light to the heavens. Reach deep into yourself and peel away all of the clutter. Throw away all the unnecessary mess in your life. Then look underneath all that you threw away and you should find nothing except “a beautiful closet” which translates to a beautiful you!

(SMJM)